Bridging the Space Between Intention and Impact
At The Civility Gap™, we help individuals, leaders, and organisations close the space between how we intend to show up, and how others actually experience us.
Through evidence-based training, coaching, and culture transformation, we turn awareness into action, and civility into a measurable skill.
Because when people feel respected, they do their best work.
And when civility becomes the norm, everything else, performance, trust, innovation, starts to thrive.
You’re Ready for Change
You’re ready for change, but you’re not sure where to start.
Maybe your workplace feels tense, or conversations keep circling the same frustrations.
You want people to communicate better, to listen, to lead, to care, but it feels like everyone’s talking past each other.
You’ve tried policies, team days, maybe even training… yet something deeper still isn’t shifting.
You’re not imagining it, what you’re feeling is The Civility Gap™.
It’s the space between how we intend to show up, and how others actually experience us.
Between what a culture says it values, and what it really rewards.
“Because we can’t talk about performance, wellbeing, or culture until we talk about how we treat each other.”
The Civility Gap Model™
A framework for turning awareness into action
The Civility Gap Model™ defines four progressive stages that individuals and organisations move through as they develop authentic, integrated civility.
It’s a practical, evidence-based framework for guiding meaningful behavioural change, from unconscious habits to embedded, organisation-wide culture.
The Four Stages
1. Unaware Civility
At this stage, individuals or organisations are unaware of how their communication or behaviour affects others. Incivility is often unintentional, shaped by habit, stress, or culture.
Change begins with awareness and reflection.
2. Aware Civility
Awareness brings responsibility.
People start to recognise the impact of civility on trust, relationships, and performance, and the choice to act differently emerges.
3. Intentional Civility
Civility becomes a conscious practice.
Leaders and teams intentionally apply empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence to daily interactions, even under pressure.
4. Integrated Civility
Civility becomes part of the organisation’s DNA, embedded in systems, leadership, and values.
Respect is modelled, measured, and maintained across every level of culture and practice.
Why Our Work Matters Now
The workplace has changed, and so have people’s expectations of what respect looks like.
Across generations, definitions of civility differ.
What feels ‘direct’ to one person might feel dismissive to another.
What once passed as ‘professional’ can now feel outdated or exclusive.
These misunderstandings aren’t always intentional, but they’re deeply impactful. They can quietly shape trust, morale, and engagement across entire organisations.
The Data Behind the Divide
29% of the industry is over the age of 55 and could retire within the next 10 years.
8% of employees aged 18–24 have the highest turnover rate of any age group.
Across the board, poor experiences with managers and colleagues are the leading cause of disengagement and attrition.
Younger generations now place more value on culture, meaning, and respect than ever before, and they’re not afraid to leave when those are missing.
Our Philosophy & Approach
Because how we treat each other is the foundation of everything.
At the heart of The Civility Gap™ is a simple belief: Civility isn’t a soft skill, it’s a core strength.
Civility is not about being “nice” or avoiding conflict. It’s about choosing respect, empathy, and accountability, especially when it would be easier not to.
It’s the courage to pause before reacting, to listen even when it’s uncomfortable, and to speak truth with compassion and clarity.
My approach is grounded in both research and real-world experience.
As a Doctorate student specialising in workplace incivility, my work explores how disrespect becomes normalised, and what it really takes to change it.
As a practitioner with years in healthcare and leadership, I’ve seen how small, intentional acts of civility transform not just teams, but entire systems.
I don’t teach civility as a checklist. I help people relearn how to connect, to themselves, to each other, and to the purpose that brought them to this work in the first place.
Meet the Founder – Lauri Smith
Lauri Smith is an organisational consultant, coach, and educator who specialises in leadership communication, inclusive culture, and workplace civility. She is the founder of The Civility Gap, an initiative dedicated to helping organisations build respectful, compassionate, and high-performing teams.
With a background in psychology and over 15 years’ experience across healthcare and senior leadership roles, Lauri brings both empathy and evidence to every project. Her approach combines the rigour of behavioural science with the humanity of lived experience, creating practical, sustainable change in how people lead, communicate, and collaborate.
Lauri believes that how we treat each other at work defines who we are as organisations. Her calm authority and grounded facilitation style help leaders and teams navigate sensitive conversations with confidence and respect. Whether she’s working with senior executives, frontline health teams, or education leaders, her message remains the same:
“Civility isn’t just about being nice — it’s about building environments where people feel safe, heard, and able to do their best work.”
She’s known for turning abstract concepts like “psychological safety” and “emotional intelligence” into practical, everyday skills that improve communication, trust, and performance.
Lauri founded The Civility Gap with a simple but powerful mission: to close the gap between intention and impact in how people communicate and lead.
Her belief is that change starts not with grand strategies, but with small, consistent acts of respect. By helping organisations build cultures grounded in kindness, accountability, and inclusion, she’s shaping workplaces that bring out the best in people, and the best in each other.
The Core Principles of My Approach
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1 Awareness Before Action
Transformation begins with noticing, the words we use, the tone we set, the silences we allow.
We can’t change what we can’t see. -
2 Accountability with Empathy
True civility requires courage: to own our impact without shame and to hold others to higher standards without blame.
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3 Systems Create Behaviour
Incivility isn’t just an individual problem, it’s a cultural one.
We address the policies, habits, and power dynamics that either nurture or erode respect. -
4 Learning Through Dialogue, Not Lectures
Change happens in conversation, through coaching, reflection, and shared understanding, not through theory alone.
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5 Civility as a Practice
Like any discipline, civility grows through consistency.
It’s a daily choice, to pause, to listen, to lead differently.
Who We Work With
At The Civility Gap, we work with individuals, leaders, and organisations ready to move beyond ‘nice’ and build cultures rooted in respect, accountability, and courage. Our clients share one belief: how we treat people isn’t a ‘soft skill’, it’s the foundation of every sustainable success.
We don’t work with those seeking quick fixes; we work with those ready to lead with intention.
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For professionals who want to grow their self-awareness, confidence, and emotional intelligence.
You might be:
A communicator, coach, or HR professional looking to build your civility practice.
A leader seeking to manage conflict without losing connection.
Someone rebuilding confidence after toxic workplace experiences.
We help you understand your communication style, strengthen your boundaries, and become a voice of calm in chaos, moving from reaction to intentional impact.
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For leaders who want to model civility, not just mandate it.
We support managers, executives, and emerging leaders to:
Navigate difficult conversations with empathy and authority.
Build trust, psychological safety, and genuine accountability.
Shift team dynamics from blame to collaboration.
When leadership becomes civil, teams become courageous, that’s where transformation starts.
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We partner with forward-thinking organisations that recognise civility as a strategic advantage.
Typical partners include:
Business experiencing culture fatigue, burnout, or conflict.
Public-sector bodies improving communication and inclusion.
Education, health, and service-based organisations where respect is mission-critical.
Our work blends diagnostics, training, and consultancy to help embed The Civility Gap Model ™ across systems, leadership, and everyday behaviour.
The result?Stronger communication, safer cultures, and teams that perform with integrity, not fear.
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We also collaborate with culture specialists, coaches, and facilities who want to integrate civility into their own practice.
Throughout Civility Consultant Accreditation Pathway, we equip partners to assess, teach, and certify civility without their own clients networks, extending the reach of this work worldwide.
Our clients share one belief, that how we treat people is not a ‘soft skill’, it’s the foundation of every sustainable success.
We don’t work with those wanting quick fixes, we work with those ready to lead with intention.
What We Offer
At The Civility Gap, we help people and workplaces rebuild communication cultures grounded in respect, empathy, and accountability.
Our services combine evidence-based training, practical tools, and human to human coaching, creating measurable change in how people lead, speak and connect.
Our services include The Civility Leadership Pathway, Civility Assured Affiliation, coaching and consultancy, guest speaking, keynotes and events and partnership and collaboration
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Helping you develop the skills, behaviours and influence to close the civility gap.
Includes three levels:
Civility Foundations – For individuals & emerging leaders.
Focus: Self-awareness, respectful communication, emotional intelligence, bias recognition.
Outcome: Apply civility principles daily to build trust, collaboration, and respect.
Civility Leadership – For managers & executives.
Focus: Leading with respect, modelling civility, giving feedback effectively, fostering inclusion and accountability.
Outcome: Create a culture of civility, influence positively, drive performance and engagement.
Civility Strategy – For senior leaders, HR, and change managers.
Focus: Embedding civility in systems, policies, and culture; measuring and sustaining impact.
Outcome: Lead large-scale, measurable culture change.
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For organisations ready to make civility a strategic priority.
The Civility Assured Affiliation recognises workplaces that embed civility across leadership, policy, and culture.
Through audits, training, and evidence-based verification, we award the Civility Assured Mark™, a visible commitment to respectful, human-centred leadership.
Affiliation includes:
Access to The Civility Gap training framework
Annual Civility Health Checks (Organisation edition)
Guided action planning and consultancy
Independent audit and recognition as Civility Assured
Transform civility from a value into a measurable practice and join a global community of ethical leaders.
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For individuals and leaders seeking tailored development.
Our 1:1 consultancy blends behavioural insight, communication strategy, and emotional intelligence coaching to help you:
Strengthen presence under pressure
Rebuild confidence after conflict
Navigate team or leadership challenges
Develop influence, empathy, and integrity
Confidential, compassionate, and results-focused — these sessions help you model the behaviour you want to see.
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Lauri Smith is a sought-after speaker and facilitator known for her bold yet human approach to leadership and communication.
Popular topics:
The Civility Gap: Why Good People Behave Badly (and how to change it)
From Politeness to Power: The Evolution of Conscious Communication
Civility and Intergenerational Working: Bridging the Age Gap in the Workplace
Dynamic, interactive talks for conferences, summits, and organisational events — designed to challenge assumptions and inspire real change.
Watch Now
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Expanding the reach of civility education.
We partner with accredited training bodies, wellbeing organisations, and leadership networks to co-create and deliver civility programmes.
If you’re interested in licensing, joint delivery, or co-branded initiatives, we’d love to collaborate.
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